To be or not to be villain
by lucario18
Summary: This is what Dr. Blowhole thinks about being a villain sadly this story is not mine but since it was in spanish i put it in here so you can enjoy it in English Please review :D


**Hey there people ok a lot ago i found this in a fecebook page but it was in spanish but a comment of one of you name: Ivy000 **

**To be or not to be villainHas inspired me to write this since she/he says that she/he is a villain so this is what Dr. Blowhole thinks you need for being a super villain**

Being a villain is not easy, I'm telling you, a character whose evil runs through his veins, as the vital liquid you call crimson blood.

Name?: Blowhole, DOCTOR Blowhole. Surely you think you know me, but you're wrong. Just when you think you've seen it all and can die in peace, giant space squ...id appears out of nowhere and started to unleash panic in the city ... Ok, ok, maybe a bit exaggerated, but you get my point right? Eh ... what was I? Ah, yes, yes, be villain is not easy, mainly because there will always be a fool with a strange fondness for color layers and tight Maya, who tried to come between your plans and your concept of "justice" to be recognized as "hero". The same H.E.R.O.E. (Extraordinarily weird or stupid) will become your greatest enemy, unbearable discomfort, hair in your soup, the photo attached to the shooting box hanging on the wall, which will atinas with darts; frustrate your plans and bother you to the point where you're seriously wondering if that guy has nothing else to do ...

"Come on, just want to rule the world and become the master of everything and everyone to get my revenge so, is there anything wrong with that meets my dream?"

What bad why are they bad? Mmm ... good question. You see, the evil born of pain and loss ... and the many other unfortunate mishaps that can happen throughout life. Me? I have many ... yes, my right eye is one of the many reasons ... but if we go to the most current, I have a serious pest problem in my house, who came from Denmark on the pretext of not having to go ... pathetic . It was a martyrdom recent days. Also do not get good minions today and those damn lobsters don't do a good job, considering I'm certainly one of the recipes that old book ... How was it? Ah yes ... "a thousand and one recipes with seafood". Guten appetit. Speaking of food, should try the clam chowder Mom, entire culinary delight ... not like some food poisoning or chocolate chip ... curiously seem to have legs ...

Any plans for the future? Mmm ... Do not know, but should write a book, surely if it did, would be entitled "long-winded complaints." Not that I'm complaining too ... it's just that luck has never felt comfortable with me, unfortunately ... but I bet you do not have your own pool command headquarters huh? ...

How do I get the best technology? That is ... Confidential ... lol not to brag, but have you seen my TV? It is a monster ... no, seriously ... LITERALLY product is ... a little accident with diabolizador, hehe details ...

You think my life sucks? Oh, so sorry, mister requirement, but I do the best I can and I have clarified that I have the good fortune to win battles ... Do you think you would do better job? Do you think you'd be best villain? Let's see ... How many times has put the world in danger? Yes, I thought so ...

At least I have the most dangerous weapon: intelligence.

I have even secret base ... That ... is not as secret as it seems ...

I have a crystal ball ... you have one?

I have an army of crustaceans useless at my mercy, a pool, plenty of weapons created by me, a working laboratory, a home theater with sounds around and a cup with the caption "the best villain in the world" ... I love eating chocolate warm at night ...

WHO IS THE FAILED NOW, EH?

Are you still thinking that you would be better? Well I'll tell you if you are in a position to be a fearsome tyrant, friend ...

■ Rules for being a terrible tyrant, step 1:

Ok, first of all you must know the correct meaning of certain terms ...

-Admonition, s. Mild rebuke or warning often accompanied friendly wielding a cleaver.

-Friendship, s. Boat large enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in a storm.

-Calamity: s. Clear and unmistakable reminder that things of this life do not obey our will.

-Diplomacy: s. Art of lying on behalf of the country.

-Selfish: s. Distasteful person who is more interested in himself than in me.

-Humility: s. Unusual patience in planning a worthwhile revenge.

-Misfortune: s. Kind of fortune that always comes.

-Inventor: s. Person who builds an ingenious arrangement of wheels, levers and springs, and believes that this is civilization.

-Justice: s. friendly target to ensure the destruction of the human race

-Hate-s. Feeling whose intensity varies with the cause that causes it.

-Loss: s. Deprivation of what we had, or what they were able to recover their former owners

-Revenge: s. Reasonable and civilized way to collect past debts

Now that you know some of the basics, move on to step 2, build your own wicked invention:

Must be an ingenious apparatus, heavy, great and awesome with an unusual name but not very difficult, you do remember the use of such invention. The reason why you build it should be a matter of revenge, madness or simply show off your skills. That is dangerous but not threatening you. Is controlled manually and remotely. Must not have a self-destruct button What idiot would do that? Must be visible to all but invisible to everyone ... Understand? Right? Perfect ... move on to step three ...

Reasons for which dominate the world:

For revenge, wickedness, greed, ambition or other unknown factor from your dark black and phosphorescent intentions (though I do all the above lol). Reasons usually are accompanied by the phrase "nothing personal" but this is a complete lie, you know the world conspires against you, the same way you conspiras against him ...

Finally ...

I recommend you work alone ... do not rely on alliances, because one way or another, your "partner" stabbing you in the back end and stay with you all the credit corresponds

It is best to have an army, if your own army, get something that will achieve based on lies, broken promises and ... an occasional payment sardines in brine ...

As well as the saying goes ... "the best strategy in war is fear" should cause fear in your enemies, play with their minds, make them believe that you are capable of any atrocity ... and so they destroy themselves ... What is not cute?

Are you keeping track of what you have to do to be a villain? You may have noticed that several things ... but quiet once in a while is good rest ...

"Evil never rests" bunch of crap go. Of course we break, what the hell they think I'm done? Obviously, I take my time ... after all, I have an amazingly smooth skin, right? That's not something that is achieved from one day to another.

Besides, I have my luxuries, you know what I mean, a glass of burgundy with a box of ham and jazz background music, if I like that ...

Now I think I'm seriously considering to take a vacation at the beach ... although if I do, then I regret ... the last time I disappeared for four hours, returning to the base, I found half of it in flames ...

Back ... physical appearance and personal attitude:

If you intend to be a bad guy, you can not go around jumping and pony happy amid a field of daisies, no, no villain who would respect that. You must not show feelings of love and friendship and for any reason, show tender affection for animals as happy unicorns in a fantasy world.

You must be bad, bad, sarcastic, ironic, and with a good sense of humor ...

As for physical appearance ... I do not care how you see it ... just do not copy my style ...

How ... after considering all these factors do you still think you'd be great to be on the dark side? I do not think so ...

**Thanks for reading...sadly this story is not mine but anyways i put it here already translate so you can enjoy it please review about what do you think about being a villain now**


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